Saturday, November 3, 2012

F.U. B.K.

For those of you unaware of the geniusly sloganed T-Shirts that my ID hero once made, this stands for, "FUCK YOU, BRIAN KELLY!" 

Years ago, we had a coach at the University of Cincinnati, and he was going to take us somewhere.  The Bearcats football team, typically known for its half empty Nippert Stadium on Saturdays, were all of a sudden on the map.  We were ranked top 25 and made it into a bowl game for heaven's sake.  It was glorious: watching UC rise up in the rankings higher than its in-state power house, Ohio State.  I proudly wore my b-UC-keye state shirt everywhere.

The elation we felt as a school and as alumnus was only extended when this coach PROMISED that he was going to stick with Cincinnati, and continue to grow our program.  All he wanted was a state-of-the-art athletic facility to work with.  So, we gave him one.  We spent our money to give Brian Kelly everything he wanted.

But did he keep his promise?  Did this man, who we were holding up on the highest pedastel, actually stick around when another opportunity came his way?  He said he would.  He SWORE that he would.  We were prepared to make him a Cincinnati legend.  But did he care?  Of course not.  He turned out to be a sell-out.

I hate watching that chubby face coach the Notre Dumb-Asses these days.  Pulling out a win in the last five minutes of every freaking game you play does NOT make you a good team.  They are highly over-rated.  But because they're Notre Dame, they seem to get special treatment.  But that's nothing new...  Let's point out that this is the only College Football Team that NBC will even show, so they inevitably blow them every weekend on air, holding up their exclusive contract:  "Yes, NBC will air your game every weekend in return for making you sound like the greatest team ever.  Even when you suck."  Then, let's talk about a team that, for all of its history and "grandeur," is able to function outside of any true NCAA Conference.  I guess they're too good for that?

Today, I watched Notre Dame come so close to losing to an unranked Pitt team.  They were down the entire game, and as is typical for this shitty team, they finally started to panic and play in the last five minutes.  Three overtimes!  Three!  Against a team that they should have been able to walk all over, if they were even half as good as the announcers on NBC make them seem.  And yet, I anticipate that the BCS will turn their head at the despicable performance.  All they'll see is another win, and keep them high in the rankings.  Makes me want to puke.

For all of you Notre Dame fans out there, pretending like you shouldn't be ashamed of how horribly your team is pulling out wins this year, wake up.  And Fuck You, Brian Kelly.

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